Friday, June 19, 2009
Tiger in the House
I know those who know me know I am a direct decedent of the bengal tiger. I shows in my eyes and mostly in my stripes. I am stripped all the way through. Its not just my fur, my skin and organs have the same stripes. I know the color is a little off, never heard of a gray bengal, most are orange/black some are white but rest assured, I am a bengal tiger, domesticated breed. I hear from Dagger often, and me and Achilles are buds, through and through. Those two have it made man, living outside, hunting when ever they feel and knowing that food supplied by the humans will be there. Well I can't really complain being a house cat and all so I will just shut up for the time being
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Family
I've seem him drop an antelope, I do see that my attack in some ways does seem to mimic my other cousin, Achilles is his name.
Dude is brave, Pirate tried to give me a bath some time back, I was like, I'm not having anything to do with this. He must be experienced at this cat-bath thing, He won this round. I'll chase water drops but to deal with large amounts of water at one time is not my idea of having a good time. Anything over my toes is entirely too deep. I mean if my prey decides to cross the river, I say go on, I'll find another victim. I wouldn't get into a situation like that anyhow, I know how to choose my battlegrounds, and I don't go near lakes or rivers. Of course I have heard Achilles rave about how good some fish are. But I think I'm gonna have to pass on this one, water is just to frightening to me.
Dude is brave, Pirate tried to give me a bath some time back, I was like, I'm not having anything to do with this. He must be experienced at this cat-bath thing, He won this round. I'll chase water drops but to deal with large amounts of water at one time is not my idea of having a good time. Anything over my toes is entirely too deep. I mean if my prey decides to cross the river, I say go on, I'll find another victim. I wouldn't get into a situation like that anyhow, I know how to choose my battlegrounds, and I don't go near lakes or rivers. Of course I have heard Achilles rave about how good some fish are. But I think I'm gonna have to pass on this one, water is just to frightening to me.
Monday, June 15, 2009
lazy
Now this is cool... clean laundry, and a comfy cool plastic shower curtain on top. I could lay here all day, is cool comfy and smells great. None of that old clothes smell. Pirate comes home smelling like chemicals every week day his clothes are in here but none of that fertilizer or weed control smell. Just a cool plastic curtain with clean clothes underneath. Ah, the life of a house cat... gotta love this shit!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
humans
"don't look I'm still naked"
You humans are so weird, not only do you wear clothes, but the brand and style seems to define what you are all about. Blue jeans are the casual look, I see the business men in theirs kakies, and knit slacks being all important and such ... But the top is the clincher... I don't see Pirate in a tie on a day to day basis, he is more the kakie or what ever you call those and a golf outing shirt. He looks pretty cool ( ladies, he is taken but quite a sight, and this coming from a male cat). So I ask What the f --- happened to your fur, you take other animal fur and make coats, you even make matterials yourself to make coats out of. What the .... I mean why drop the real coat when you know its gonna be just as if not colder next year? You guy's (and girls) blow my mind. You ladies are more than this guy cat can handle, you have to choose pants, jeans, dress, skirt, mini skirt, skort??? the list goes on, and with most of those (save for the dress) you need to find a top that matches, goes with and is appropriate. Take this Obama chick. All in the news with the paparatci and all saying sleeves and shit. Well get this, how bout she shows up in a birthday suit. Greener for the nation, is what's natural and no one knows what brand, style or color she can afford/likes. Am I brave for going around naked? well shit no. I am a freaking cat, I go naked and thats that. My stripes are quite nice though. Even seen some comedy where the guy opens his closet and everthing is the same. I don't quite get the joke, I wear the same stripes everyday. Ladies, again, cool out, they're just feeding units, whats the big deal? And humans; there is a god, I am going to heaven cause there are no rules here in the animal world. We do what is natural and god is good with that. (I would never think of killing another cat).
Just day dreaming
Please note the family similarities in me and my older cousin Dagger. Some in the family say we could be twins. Not so sure I would go that far, but as one of the handsome members of my family I'll take it as a compliment. I do have Dagger's eyes and our stripes are similar.
Dagger and I do keep in touch, thank goodness for the computer age. He tells me he is well, life in sanctuary is great, he said sorta like being a house cat but you live outside. Wouldn't that be cool? He is telling me his brother and sister are having a tough time out in the jungles of Asia. Yea I guess times are tough every where. (make note to self, call Simba later tonight)
Dagger said he mauled a human once, left a horrid taste in his mouth.
I kinda figured so much,(any animal that cooks their meat can't taste that good.)
You people freak me out. The pretty female here is always slaving over that contraption she
calls the "Stove". I just can't figure out why you don't just kill something and eat it, there's a ton of deer that run through this place. I'm just not big on this cooking thing. I know I'm getting a little off subject here.
Speaking of the deer, wouldn't it be cool to be a mountain lion and stalk, track, and take down one of those bigger bucks? oh man, gives me shivers up my spine. Reminds me of the antelope stories Dagger has told me.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
wtf
man I tell ya, always someone "fucking" with me. Pirate always grabbing my thigh, or pretty one trying to step over my blockade, always someone fucking with me. Must be their misunderstanding, I lay down, it is not permisable to just step over me, I am here for a reason, do I not have "do not enter" all over my face? Thinking these humans a bit in the clouds... I decapitate squirell and mice, do you not know who you are dealing with? When I say "STOP" I mean what I said.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
dues
Earned my keep today; While the "repair guy" was here today I had to stand watch to protect the pretty female. I mean I don't know who's comin and goin in the place here. So I set myself, in attack mode as he "fixes" the kitchen growler. Man I tell ya, it was nice not having to hear that creature for a couple of weeks, so he fixed the wall plug- thing too, didn't let him out of my sights then either.
So every thing seems ok so far, he came he left and the stuff he worked on works so I decided not to decapitate him like I do with the squirrels and mice. He comes and goes, and does what he says he's here to do, I'll just make a little check mark by his name in the allow column. [Repair guy- allow]
Well getting hungry and need to play with that mouse toy of mine too, later on
So every thing seems ok so far, he came he left and the stuff he worked on works so I decided not to decapitate him like I do with the squirrels and mice. He comes and goes, and does what he says he's here to do, I'll just make a little check mark by his name in the allow column. [Repair guy- allow]
Well getting hungry and need to play with that mouse toy of mine too, later on
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)